Loving The Silence

God should punish those who fakely preach his words. There is a pastor’s daughter who often talks religion and God. From the outside, she flaunts an aura of virginity, untouched. But behind the white veil hides a flirty lady who goes after men, invites them in her home and sleeps with them whenever she gets a chance. There is one self-proclaimed pastor who reads the bible every single day but when irked, he curses like there’s no tomorrow. He abhors sinners and wishes eternally that they burn in hell. Then there’s the racist couple who call themselves Christians, the guy who prays the rosary at sunrise and intoxicates himself with alcohol at night, and the priest who sexually abuses kids.

Please God, punish them!

In one of the conversations I had with my Nepalese colleague, Ashis, I pondered how it’d be like not to have a God. I have many friends who do not have one. From the way I see it, they look happy and contented with everything life they think is about, even in the absence of prayer and divine intercession. I do not feel any sort of animosity towards them for not believing the God I grew up knowing. As a matter of fact, I do not even pray for them to find my God, contrary to what other devout Christians do. There was a time in my Christian life when praying for “lost souls” was a responsibility. That was when I was crazily addicted to my God. Right now, I let “lost souls” wander wherever they like. Call me a bad Catholic.

Or judge me for my unchristian deeds!

Believe me, there are many of us in this boat ride. I am pretty sure I have ex-brothers and ex-sisters (you know who you are) who share my a-bit-way-off Christian sentiment. From being a straight follower of the divine teachings, here we are turning to the “other” verses of the world. Not that we indulge ourselves to super evil ways, we are only taking the paths that are daring and not controlled by policies of a single community. We still pray, by the way. Or at least acknowledge that God exists. This time, we are free of guilt when we miss daily masses, or a rosary gathering.

Personally, this circumstance makes me catch a glimpse of the world in a different perspective. I hear you. Don’t lecture me of spiritual dryness. This is not the chapter of my life where I am feeling something spiritually foreign in me. Everything in my system is normal and, honestly, I need no rescuing. Why don’t you pay attention instead to those priests who sexually abuse children?

It is a different perspective when I get to respect other religions and not condemn them for being “protestants.” I have attended other Christian churches only to realize that they are no different than mine, spiritually. In their routines, they read the bible, give sermons, give praise and sing songs. But why was I taught that Catholicism is the one and only? That heaven is only made for Catholics?

I have met and befriended Muslims in my travels around the world. Like my Christian friends, they are likeable people who practice the Islam faith and strictly conform to their set of spiritual customs and traditions. But why was I taught that Muslims will never be saved, when in truth, Islam preaches “peace, mercy, justice, equality, love, truth, forgiveness, patience, sincerity and righteousness”?

It is a different perspective when I open my mind to people not being judged on the basis of their religion or belief. There are times I ponder that religion only divides humanity, instead of encouraging unity. And this is not what religion should be. What a shame if it is!

It is so sad to know that Christians who are intolerant to other religions, say Islam, are the devout ones — those who try very hard to force their message across saying “join us, otherwise you go to hell.” They are the circle of people whose religious social networks are very limited and usually constricted to their own.

Listen: lead by example. Instead of forcing your beliefs to others, live a normal Christian life and hope that others will notice the difference you make to yourself and they emulate you. Help others without the expectations of them following your God. Most importantly, stop the divine blackmail of “suffering perpetually in hell when you are not one of us”. The more you force people, the more they go away from you.

Again, lead by example. Fashion yourself into the kind of person you want others to follow. If you are a lady preacher, don’t sleep with men you barely know. If you are a priest, do not sexually abuse kids.

I do not have any regret learning the foundations of my Catholic faith. I am what I am now because of the my strong Christian roots. It is just disappointing that it has to take maturity and wisdom to realize that different “faiths” can co-exist. In my childhood days, I was conditioned to believe that my God hates other religions. That believing in them is a curse. Oftentimes, in my hometown, I would hear adults say “lain na sila ug tinuho-an” (their religion is different), when talking about a small group of people who dress differently. Almost always, adults would make it sound like all about them is religion, like there is nothing to talk about them but their faith. And almost always, kids like me were convinced that they are outcasts, that they are different from the Catholic kids.

My grade 5 Cathechism teacher once shouted at me in class for not knowing what to say when making the three small signs of the cross on the forehead, lips, and chest. She said with a devilish grin, “Unsa ka, Muslim?” (What are you, a Muslim?”) The incident left me very embarrassed while, at the same time, made me think that being in another religion is bad! The teacher’s reaction implied that in order for me to learn the faith, hate others.

But I am different now. I still love my God, but I have learned to open my mind to understanding other Gods and to accept that the only way believers of various religions can co-exist is to respect each other and to stop being hateful. Nothing else. Insisting that one saves souls better than the other, creates chaos. Many Gods but one common goal, to reach the eternal destination — a solemn place somewhere, where Islam calls it “Paradise”, where Christianity calls it “Heaven”, where Hindu Vaishnava traditions calls it “Vaikuntha”, where Buddhism calls it “Nirvana.” In the end, heaven, or whatever name it is, is NOT only made for Catholics, or Christians in general.

Which heaven do you want? I suggest, the easy way to getting there is not to become like the slutty pastor’s daughter, or the abusive priest. Oh I forgot, they are likely be heading somewhere else.