Love must withstand the strongest of winds. Whatever it takes, hold on to it.

Let me detail the story of my Dutch friend Jacque; hers is a poster family for divorce. She was five when her mom discovered that her dad was having an affair with another woman. The discovery sparked series of unhealthy events between her parents, which eventually ended up in a divorce. For a while, Jacque and her younger sister bounced around between their parents before their grandparents had the custodial responsibilities. The custody issue confused her as much as the reason why her mom did not even attempt to acquire the rights to keep them both. Her mom frequented the night bars and so did her dad.

In her heart, she carried hatred for everything-for her hardhearted parents and for a life wretched and unfulfilled. She lived in fear of being sent away, as most defenseless days of her existence, her grandparents threatened of sending her to either her mom or dad if she not would oblige on things they wanted her to do.

Her sister ended up in a group of criminally inclined friends, who, at one point, stole a large amount of money from a store. She was into drugs and other illegal maneuvers. Later, she was brought to a psychiatrist, and the reason of her strayed life was blamed to a broken family.

I am certain that by now Jacque is already done with her college degree. She told me she had no plans of inviting her parents to her graduation day. Nor did she want to see them. She hated her childhood and teenage life as much as she hated her parents, who she judged as irresponsible and thoughtless.

This is but a tragic story of a broken family. The story of life in anguish. From a child so sweet, Jacque grew up into someone very hard to smile, as I noticed. Moreover, she doubted everything.

Who can blame her to question the context and sanctity of marriage for years of not being able to feel it from her own family? Who will care to convince her that marriage is not just a piece of paper, eagerly signed by two human beings before God and men, and yet to be windswept at a slightest pinch? Who is she to render love to the uncertainty of the sacrament-ending up living separate lives again? These were exactly the sentiments of Jacque who had experienced what it was like to live in a family ripped apart. For her, who had been so close to giving up, marriage was a waste of time!

However, we know it is not. Marriage is not like changing clothes, that once we don’t like it anymore, we can just toss it to a corner and look for something dazzling and new. It is an exceptional gift from God and a pledge for life. When couples promise to live together till death, it is also a rejection of their own selves, conquering their self-longings and accepting one another completely. Marriage is not changing a person but becoming accustomed to whatever he/she is and will be. It is learning to blend. It is surviving the unexpected insurmountable and getting it done till the end.

What if marriage will not really work for good? Then why enter marriage in the first place if we can’t put up with its aftereffects? The decision of marrying the one you love serves as a warning for all the consequences you could possibly think of once you are into it. Getting hooked up to, someone for eternity is giving your whole trust and somehow believing you would get the same trust in return.

We are weak; human as we are. But if both parties will work hand-in-hand and with God’s guidance, with plenty of prayers and with selflessness, marriage will work. Marriage will prosper!

We don’t need to hear another story like Jacque’s in this world where marriage is sometimes, if not oftentimes, reduced to trial and error. Is the scene of a child in anger and in pain a sight to behold? Many parents may not agree with me, but divorce must not be a medicine to cure. In my opinion, it is not a solution to healing emotional wounds. However, if you are a divorcee parent reading this and managed to raise your children to a normal, happy life, my congratulations to you.

I am still into the definition of a family – a mother, a father and a child under one roof. I am still into getting the right plans and working it right, believing things will work at the right place and in God’s divine hands. I do not want a situation where anybody can just remarry anyone at any time. It defeats marriage vows. Marriage for me is sacred and to go on with the relationship through thick and thin has its divine rewards.

Finally, love is a stunning thing to pledge ourselves to, though painful at times. But it is where we grow and mature in all things. Love should be the cure to heal and to motivate us again.